13 Mistakes You Should Avoid on a First Date
You can chat and build rapport with someone online, but the first date is always the moment of truth. People are always nervous when they have to meet someone they met online for the first time.
Most times, it has nothing to do with personal safety. It is just that people often lack the skill and composure to handle the pressure of talking to strangers. Therefore, they tend to overcompensate and end up ruining their chances completely.
So, what should you not do on a first date?
When going out with someone, first impressions are extremely crucial. One character flaw might be the nail in the coffin. Also, you might show yourself in a presentable light but lack proper dating etiquette.
So, we’ve gathered a collection of what not to do on a first date to help you avoid those facepalm moments.
What should you not do on a first date?
This tops the list of what not to do on a first date. Arriving late to a date is the ultimate show of disregard for the other person. If you are a habitual latecomer, start preparing early to make it in time.
You might have a reason for your lateness. So, notify your date at least ten minutes before the stipulated ETA. And keep them constantly updated every 5 minutes via text or calls.
It is incredibly awkward and irritating to arrive at the venue and wait around for the other person like a cop on surveillance.
2. Checking your phone
Yes, we know you are extremely busy, but constantly checking your phone indicates a lack of interest in the person sitting across from you. The constant beeping can also annoy the heck out of someone.
Therefore, always set your phone to silent before the date commences. If you have an urgent call, apologize, and excuse yourself.
3. Coming in with high expectations
This doesn’t mean you should not go on a date without creating a mental portrait of the person. It is quite fun, right?
Instead, always bear in mind that a perfect 10 on a dating platform is an 8 in real life. So, manage your expectations to avoid looking visibly disappointed about the person’s appearance. Also, don’t try to call them out for not looking exactly the way you expected.
You can only say, “you look way better in real life than in your profile.”
4. Discussing politics
Politics is a homewrecker even in the most tight-knit families, not to speak of between strangers. Don’t ever discuss politics or religion on the first date. Resist the urge to discuss the latest government policies. Some of these topics lead to heated arguments that can turn a date sour in a split second.
5. Getting drunk
Some people deal with anxiety by getting a bit spirited before a date. Any normal person will excuse themselves if you arrive on a date intoxicated. Moreover, alcohol (drug) consumption hinders your thinking. Don’t overindulge during the date. Know your limit and try not to exceed it.
6. Constant interruptions
Don’t be an annoying pest; let your date complete a thought. If you can’t help yourself, then you should use the following techniques:
- Wait 2 seconds before interjecting
- Use facial expressions to indicate that you want to say something
- Bite your tongue when you feel the urge to interject
7. Revealing too much
You can overwhelm someone with information about your personal life. Don’t talk about your family’s history. Save that history lesson for later when the relationship blossoms.
8. The silent treatment
Okay, not revealing too much doesn’t mean you have to listen to your date in silence. The person in front of you is not a performance artist for your entertainment. Ask questions and engage in back and forth conversation.
If you don’t say anything, your date will assume that you are disinterested in them. Alternatively, they will conclude that you are a boring person or trying to hide key parts of your life.
9. Rattling on about your ex
Don’t bring up your previous relationships unless asked. Resist the urge to go into long monologues about how terrible your exes were. And if the person asks, discuss the relationship briefly and what the deal-breaker was. This will show your date that you have moved on.
Furthermore, don’t bash your ex because it makes you come off as a whiny backbiter.
10. Doing too much
Always try to keep it simple on your date. Talking too much also falls in this category. Also, don’t start talking about raising a family and grandkids — that’s a whole lot for someone to digest.
Don’t start bragging about your garage of Lamborghinis or the Hollywood stars that party at your crib — it isn’t cute. Instead, it makes you sound like a douchebag.
Most importantly, don’t start with ‘honey’ and ‘baby’ because it just sounds awkward.
11. Terrible dressing
Don’t dress shabbily to your first date with someone because most people can pass judgment on your personality based on your dressing. If you don’t know what to wear, prepare for a date like for a job interview. Also, try to find out the meeting place to match the expected dress code.
12. Trying to seal the deal
If you don’t know what to say after a first date, stick to ‘thanks’ and ‘goodbye’. The worst thing you can do is invite your date to a hotel or crib. Let things flow naturally and lead where they may.
13. Ghosting the person
Unfortunately, most people blank on what to say after a first date, leading to a prolonged period of silence. No matter what, always thank the person for a quality time. You can always ask if they would fancy another date. Don’t abandon the discussion for some time because your date will assume you don’t fancy them.
Even if you didn’t enjoy the date, don’t ghost the person. Try to strike up a conversation, and if they respond, you were impressive on the first date. If not, accept it and move on with your life.
This list of what to avoid on a first date will help you avoid embarrassment on your first date with your crush. Don’t be arrogant, dress well, and be respectful. In conversation, allow the discussion to flow back and forth. Avoid constant interruptions, and apologize when it is unintentional. No matter what, try to be at the venue on time. Don’t push things too hard, and don’t share too much on your first date. Take it easy, and you will have an amazing first date.